Today was a slow day at the Restaurante y Cantina, so I had plenty of time to think. Think about all the things that annoy me. Why annoying? Because I've been in that kind of mood lately, annoyed. So I'm now going to pass this annoyance on to the rest of you, hoping that you will bask and revel in the cold, horrid and annoying haze of it all, as I have been so priveleged to do. Enjoy!
Annoyance 1: People who beckon you to their table by waving frantically, declaring they are ready to order, and then proceed to make you stand there while they "ummm, I think I'll have, the ummmm, hmmmm, let's see". Give me a fucking break.
Annoyance 2: Tables that flag you down every few minutes to burden you with yet another ridiculous demand: another napkin, more ice for an ice tea that is three quarters of the way full, a refill for a beverage that is also three quarters of the way full, etc. But that's not the annoyance, no. It's what the annoyers preface their requests with. "Um, I'm sorry, I hate to do this, I hate to be THAT person, but could you..." Liar, liar, liar. If you were sorry, or hated to do this, or hated being that person, then you WOULDN'T DO IT!
Annoyance 3: You offer to refill the drink of a customer at a table. You don't ask the others because their drinks are still pretty full. But as you return to the table of 7, bearing a refill for one person, two more rapidly inhale their drinks and ask for refills. "Anyone else?" you ask. The response is no. But then you return, and those Annoying Others say, "You know, we think we will have another." Are you fucking kidding me?
Annoyance 4: Parents who let their toddlers make insane messes. I know babies are messy, I'm not mad, they're babies. But come on, Moms,would you let your babies throw food, chew up all the crayons and smash beans all over the table at home WITHOUT CLEANING IT UP? Yes, it's hard being a mom, especially if you are a mom to more than one kid. But just because you are not at home, and you don't have to clean up behind them, doesn't mean it's ok to let your kid run wild. This is not Chuck E. Cheese.
Annoyance 5: Last, but most definitely not least. Email, and the boyfriends that break up with you using them. Oh yes, my friends, my boyfriend broke with me. With an email. It's amazing how you think you know someone, how you can fall in love with someone who doesn't really exist. And then they crush you, and don't even have the cojones to do it to your face. Ah, mi vida. The drama.
I wish it were a mere annoyance. But right now it hurts too much.
Annoyance 1: People who beckon you to their table by waving frantically, declaring they are ready to order, and then proceed to make you stand there while they "ummm, I think I'll have, the ummmm, hmmmm, let's see". Give me a fucking break.
Annoyance 2: Tables that flag you down every few minutes to burden you with yet another ridiculous demand: another napkin, more ice for an ice tea that is three quarters of the way full, a refill for a beverage that is also three quarters of the way full, etc. But that's not the annoyance, no. It's what the annoyers preface their requests with. "Um, I'm sorry, I hate to do this, I hate to be THAT person, but could you..." Liar, liar, liar. If you were sorry, or hated to do this, or hated being that person, then you WOULDN'T DO IT!
Annoyance 3: You offer to refill the drink of a customer at a table. You don't ask the others because their drinks are still pretty full. But as you return to the table of 7, bearing a refill for one person, two more rapidly inhale their drinks and ask for refills. "Anyone else?" you ask. The response is no. But then you return, and those Annoying Others say, "You know, we think we will have another." Are you fucking kidding me?
Annoyance 4: Parents who let their toddlers make insane messes. I know babies are messy, I'm not mad, they're babies. But come on, Moms,would you let your babies throw food, chew up all the crayons and smash beans all over the table at home WITHOUT CLEANING IT UP? Yes, it's hard being a mom, especially if you are a mom to more than one kid. But just because you are not at home, and you don't have to clean up behind them, doesn't mean it's ok to let your kid run wild. This is not Chuck E. Cheese.
Annoyance 5: Last, but most definitely not least. Email, and the boyfriends that break up with you using them. Oh yes, my friends, my boyfriend broke with me. With an email. It's amazing how you think you know someone, how you can fall in love with someone who doesn't really exist. And then they crush you, and don't even have the cojones to do it to your face. Ah, mi vida. The drama.
I wish it were a mere annoyance. But right now it hurts too much.
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