Sunday, February 11

JUST A JOB

I had recently decided to leave the Restarante Y Cantina, and move on to "bigger and better things." I scaled my work schedule way down, eliminating myself from the bar entirely and only serving in the dining room two to three shifts a week. I thought that the lack of work and income would motivate me to find a "real job." But it hasn't.

I've been on a few job interviews. One for a job I really wanted(but I got lost on the way and was subsequently 45 minutes late to the interview- yikes!), a couple for jobs that seemed tolerable, and one for a job that would, if I were to be hired, make my brain decompose from lack of use. I spent the duration of that particular interview trying to think of a articulate, professional way to tell the interviewers that I had made a horrible mistake in applying for that job and the thought of working there made me want to die.

I have churned out scores of resumes and cover letters to almost any ad that fits the criteria of a "real job":

  • Office-like setting where I sit at a desk, answering phones while creating important spreadsheets on the computer using Excel
  • Professional attire or business casual; nothing remotely resembling a uniform
  • INSURANCE COVERAGE!!!
  • Regular hours
  • Something that I wouldn't be ashamed to admit to as a profession.

I've been thinking about a quote from Maya Angelou: "Don't make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing, and do them so well that people can't take their eyes off you."

For the past few months, I've taken that to mean that I should keep my focus on jobs that I would enjoy. But honestly? I don't know of one. I have a few ideas, but those positions require me to have a college degree, which I am still in the everlasting process of obtaining. I've been reevaluating the reasons I why I had chosen to find another job, and realized that they haven't been legitimate. Even though I know better, I still haven't completely shaken the idea that I should be " in a different place" at my age, that compared to any other 27 year old, I am stunted. My family's disappointment in what they consider to be my lack of progress doesn't help much either. I thought that if I got a different job, I'd become a different person, perhaps a more respectable individual. But I've had similar jobs in the past, and I hated all of them, so I always ended up waiting tables again.

I've been rethinking Maya Angelou's quote. Maybe pursuing what I love doing has nothing to do with the job I have,but with the life I have. I don't want to be one of those people who's identity is created solely by what they do for a living. One of the great things about restaurant work is the flexibilty of schedule, not to mention the money. Both of those things enable me to enjoy the activities that I love most as well as continue my education.

I'm not sure if I'll stay at the Restarante. El Pechugon's only just getting started. Perhaps I'll head to another restaurant. But I'm no longer in a frenzy to "find a good job." I'll continue to look, and in time it will come together. After all, it's just a job, not my life.

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